How To Protect Yourself In a Divorce

According to statistics, every four out of ten marriages come to an end. You never know what is going to occur. It is so important to make sure you protect yourself when it comes to finances.

1. Separate your Non-Marital Assets

Non-marital assets are the property considered by the courts belonging to one spouse or the other and is not subject to equitable distribution. Simply put that it is not part of the assets that will be divided in a divorce proceeding.  These assets includes:
• Inherited property
• Items brought to the marriage
• Gifts given specifically to one person as opposed to the married couple
• Proceeds from personal injury

In some cases, these non-marital assets can be mixed with marital assets and will be prevented from being claimed upon divorce. It is of importance to have a traceable paper trail in order to show where the assets were and where they were transferred into in order to claim it as non-marital asset.

When you commingle your own funds, the financial gifts or inherited assets with your spouse’s funds or marital funds, the opposing attorney can easily argue that those assets have become divisible marital funds because of the commingling. So, it is highly advisable to keep such non-marital assets in a separate account and have separate financial records for your assets.

Keep your real estate separate

2. Start Your Own Credit History

Some cases entails that there are people who lived their life depending chiefly on their spouse’s paycheck and were never in a position where they can build a good credit score. It is of utmost importance to establish your own credit history because these days, acquiring assets such as a credit card, new car and even mortgages will require a credit history.

3. Conserve

It will also be wise to not start spending large amounts of money in buying highly priced items in order to keep your debt situation as simple as possible. As more outstanding debt, loans and property you have prior to divorce will only cause more intricate, stressful and time costing divorce proceeding.

4. Keep Track of Your Financial Records

Many couples have varied financial holdings ranging from checking to saving accounts. These accounts may be joint or separate accounts, either way it is useful to keep track to all accounts because when divorce proceeding begins it is common that evidence of these things conveniently disappears, leaving confusions to what you may be entitled to.

5. Have Good Timing

When to proceed with your divorce can have a considerable financial consequence. Many single income families with one spouse who have not worked or worked long enough to monetarily qualify for Social Security Benefits. However, if they have been married for over 10 years to someone who does qualify for Social Security income, then become divorced and do not remarry, then they may qualify for the qualified amount of their working spouse at age 62. In light of this, if you are in a similar situation and have not reached the 10 year mark but are closely arriving, it is in your best interest to do what you can to wait.

6. Close Joint Accounts

Like the third item on this list, if divorce is imminent to you and your spouse, it is important to be proactive and think of things that may cause additional financial burdens in the process of divorce. First, examine all the joint accounts and different ways where your spouse can run up credit card or withdraw and spend money. Freezing or closing your joint accounts can be a solution in order to keep track or keep your spouse from spending additional debt that you could be held responsible for. In the case where you will need to withdraw any money, keep a detailed record of where your money goes and prepare to account for it in the divorce process.

7. Hire an Experienced Divorce/ Mediation Lawyer

An experienced asset protection attorney will offer you effective legal ways and asset protection strategies to keep you from further asset division headaches in the divorce process. He/she will guide you to be on the right track in managing your non-marital assets and keep them separate.

Co-parenting During the Holiday Season

Tips for the most wonderful time of the year 

The holiday season can be very stressful and overwhelming. Divorce makes this season even more challenging. Holidays are typically marketed as a time for love and family, but for so many families it can be a very emotional time period. However, these holiday challenges can be overcome and a joyful holiday is definitely attainable. Some of these following tips for co-parenting during the holidays can ease holiday stress and make this season more enjoyable for everyone.

  • The children come first and foremost

Try to look at things through your child’s perspective. What is the healthiest experience possible for them? What will make their holiday as fun as possible? Remember to keep their emotions and feelings in mind. Never treat your child like a possession or talk negative about your fellow co-parent in front of your child. 

  • Treat your ex like a business-partner

Remember to remain civil and as amicable as possible. It is important to establish boundaries and to still treat your ex with respect. Work together with your ex and have healthy communication to make co-parenting go as smoothly as possible.

  • Make sure you always plan ahead

Try creating a parenting plan that maps out how holidays are spent. Discuss in advance with your fellow co-parent how the holidays will be split up and celebrated. Also discuss what traditions will remain in place and also leave room in plan for last-minute changes.

  • Remain Flexible

Sometimes life happens and you never cannot predict the future. Remember to keep an open-mind around the holidays and be prepared for the unexpected.  Be open to switching times and days with your ex and consider what will be best course of action for your kid.

  • Coordinate Gift exchange

A lot of the time, the holidays become extreme and it easy to get carried away. You do not want to end up trying to top your ex with excessive gifts. It is important to put a budget in place, discuss the amount of gifts, as well as talk about gifts that you don’t see as appropriate. Proper communication is vital.

  • Self-Care

A lot of people get flustered and feel like their drowning in stress due to the holidays. Remember to still take care of yourself through this process and take the time to de-stress. The better mental and emotional health you maintain, the better you will be able to parent and take care of your children.


Don’t forget to enjoy the holiday! Life doesn’t always go as planned or work out as expected. Never forget to live life in the moment and enjoy every minute. Take time to really bond and laugh with your child. Create great memories that will last a lifetime 🙂 

Constantly maintain good communication with your co-parent and make sure you are both on the same page. If you feel like you and your co-parent cannot agree or still have high levels of conflicts, try discussing a plan of action with a family therapist or a mediator in order to reach a resolution. The holidays can still be the most wonderful time of the year,despite the new adjustments.

How to discuss divorce with children

It is projected that around 40 percent to 50 percent of married couples will end up getting a divorce, and while it can be a difficult time for everyone involved, many parents are especially worried about the effect it will have on the children. How you discuss divorce with your child can greatly impact their development.

Divorce is always tough and a hard circumstance to overcome. However, every child and situation varies. The impact divorce has on kids varies with different factors such as the child’s age, the environment, levels of support, etc. Every child’s reaction to their parent’s divorce is different, but instilling and teaching good coping mechanisms, as well as taking on those methods yourself can make a world of difference.

The question of when you should tell your child about the divorce is both a complex and difficult task. It is specific to your family’s dynamics and should only occur when both parents are certain a separation will occur. Both parties should have a mutual respect for each other and be able to have a calm and collected conversation, putting aside their differences for the sake of their child. Although divorce can be a long and drawn out process, parents should consider telling the child before they accidentally find out through another family member or friend, or even the child overhearing private conversations between parents. Parents should clear up any misconceptions and follow up immediately if there is any concern the child has learned about the divorce from another party.

Being open, honest, and clear with your child without oversharing is really helpful!

Some tips for discussing divorce include:

  1. Both parents being present while discussing the divorce
  2. Avoid the blame game and focus on what is best for the child
  3. The older the child is the more they will inquire about visitation.  As such, coming up with a plan beforehand is vital.
  4. Assure the child that the divorce is not their fault
  5. Consider the age of the child.  The younger they are, less details are better
  6. Assure the child that they are still loved by both parents

10 reasons to Choose Mediation Over Litigation

Divorce mediation is about you and your soon to be ex-spouse deciding your own divorce and what works best for you both and most importantly, your children. In mediation, you and your spouse meet with a neutral third party, the mediator, and with their help, you work through the conflicts and issues you need to resolve so the two of you can end your marriage as amicably and cost effective as possible.

In mediation, the couple, with the help of the mediator, works out agreements on issues and conflicts. Sometimes agreements come easy, sometimes they take time and a lot of work. When agreements are hard to reach, that is when the mediator intervenes. It is the mediators job to keep the lines of communication open, brainstorm ideas, reality test the couple, teach empathy and assist the couple in their decision making process.

In divorce, no one wins. So wouldn’t you prefer to settle things peacefully and amicably? Here are 10 reasons to choose mediation as opposed to litigation.

  1. Mediation puts the children first and foremost.
  2. Mediation is more peaceful and focuses on solutions that are beneficial to both parties.
  3. Mediation takes less time than litigation and is more efficient.
  4. Mediation is more cost effective than hiring attorneys
  5. Mediation is empowering and fair, you and your spouse are in complete control of the future.
  6. Mediation has a higher rate of compliance
  7. Mediation results in more thorough and practical agreements
  8. Mediation is a more dignified and personalized experience
  9. Mediation is more convenient and flexible
  10. Mediation is a private and confidential process.